Closing the Gap Between What You Say and What People Hear

You Can’t Take It Back

Ever said something you wish you could take back? Me too. Here’s one from 25 years ago. (It’s not that I have to go back that far to find an example. Just to find one that doesn’t still hurt.) :-)

Back then, I was on the road full-time playing music, and had a band of my own, called, originally enough, The David Levin Band. We played a lot of places in the middle of nowhere and had a good bit of fun doing it. (A sad sort of fun, in retrospect. But hey, we were young!) I should also say that I wasn’t much of a band leader. In those days, I was generally more interested in hanging out with my buddies than running a business. But during one particular band meeting I apparently felt some sudden misguided impulse to take charge or something because I distinctly remember saying to the band, “Guys, this is not a democracy!”

Twenty-five years later, I’m still paying for it.

Actually, we laugh about it now. (I’m still friends with several of the guys.) But the point is, we remember it. And I have no doubt it played a role in that band breaking up not long afterward.

There’s a famous quotation, attributed to Grace Hopper, that says, “It’s easier to ask forgiveness than to get permission.” I’ve always liked the quote, and I’m sure it’s true in a lot of situations. But communication is not one of them. In fact, with communication it’s the opposite. Once you drop that bomb, that’s it. There’s no taking it back. No do-overs. And the truth is, it’s ten times harder to undo a communication mistake than it is to get it right in the first place, if the mistake can even be undone at all.

Communication is too important to just go with your gut in the moment. If you have something that needs to be said, take the time to say it right. Think it through ahead of time. Plan it out. Be on the lookout for any disconnects. And, of course, make sure to run it past a feedback buddy first.

Tags: Communication, communication training, customer service, david levin, leadership, leadership development, leadership training

This entry was posted on Friday, November 13th, 2009 at 9:56 pm and is filed under Communication. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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